TODAY'S CELEBRITY...(insert cliche word here...scoop, hot list, hot sheet...etc.)

first of all...gas face to pinche JJ Ryan...aka Pig Vomit...Even though you asked for the past week...he doesn't want me to play any slow jams for you tonight for Valentine's Day...but it's ok he's still not quite sure what romance is...but tis still our loss...he had that coming

alright...now for the real news:

Rihanna went in on Hova for somethin or another...rumor is Jay is mad jealous because she's with Chris Brown...I still think she waves the rainbow flag with Alicia!!!

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Also, you hear mariah's new ish yet...and with such a she-tay first single....she still wants to call her album E=MC2 (emancipation = Mariah Carey ummm...squared) as in better than the last... not so fast trick...put somethin out less predictable...sounds like a scared maid singin under her breath about gettin' tapped by the man of the house...but I still like it....this week.

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Then there's this trailer park princess Hanna Ray Cyrus...it's sad when the 13 year old's that are just now forming opinions about girls have this to look at and get excited about...back in the day we had Soliel Moon Frye and Lisa Turtle...but this? not hot! Sorry kids! But as usual I digress...Miley and her pappy are in trouble by up in arms parents and PTA affiliates because Miley got in the back of her dad's car and they drove away and Miley had no seatbelt on... 2 things A. if they wrecked she would learn her lesson and B. WFC? do we really have nothing else to worry about than some chick not having her seatbelt on in a video...do we really need the "it's a necessity, not an accessory" line? Take care of your kids and you won't need a 15 year old role model/babysiter on a plasma screen to influence you're kids so heavily.

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Finally, Gary Coleman perpetuates the vicious stereotype with this gummy-faced broad whom he allegedly secretly married back in August...no other commentary needed.