THURSDAY'S PIECE

FOR F&%K$ SAKE...IT'S FINALLY OVER!!

HERE'S THE "WINNER"

David Cook Crowned the New American Idol

The votes totaled 97.5 million to pick the next Idol.

One David got 54 percent of the votes and one got 44 percent of them.

I'm so glad that I missed this season...I plan on continuing that trend as much as possible at this point. AI = boooooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!!!

For those of you who DVR'd the show...I heard you got screwed! Did you notice that if you didn't adjust the regular recording time of the show that you saw: "And your new American Idol is David..." and then see a screen pop up with the "replay" or "erase" option? hahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!

Usher Split Rumors Not True

So there was a pesky little rumor going on that Ursher was leavin' his boo...unfortunately this is not a reality! Damn! I wish this cat would dip outta there and be the OG he once was...

"It's 100% not true," Usher's manager Benny Medina tells Usmagazine.com.

"Usher and Tameka are currently traveling in Europe together as a family on his promotional tour," he continued. "This rumor is completely false."

The couple got married in August of 2007, and controversy surrounding their nuptials and Tameka's pregnancy sparked rumors that Usher's mother didn't approve of the union.

Usher and Tameka have one child together, Usher Raymond V, who was born on November 26, 2007.

Foster, a stylist who has worked with Lauryn Hill, Toni Braxton and Usher himself, is nine years Usher's senior. She was previously married to Ryan Glover, with whom she has two children.

Shania Twain's Secretary: I Didn't Break Up Her Marriage

Shania and her ex are still entangled in a bit of a bitter war after their split. Fingers are pointing to her secretary...how cliche! Either way, the woman in question has spoken out...

"But, when marriages break up they break up for all sorts of complicated reasons, it's never just one reason," she says. "And those reasons should be kept private. If you're looking for a person that broke up a marriage then you have the wrong person. I'm not that person," she added.

J.R. ROTEM CLAIMS: 'BRITNEY'S BACK'

J.R. Rotem, the same cat who was entangled in a pregnancy situation last years claims that Brit's back on her way to the top! Yeah Yeah....so is Tiffany...

"She's great. She's like a master at what she does. She's a lot more experienced than most people. She just has the 'it' factor that not every artist has.

"It's always nice to work with her."

Rotem briefly dated Spears last year and hit the headlines when he suggested the pop star might be pregnant in a stray text message.

A source close to Spears confirms the singer is working on the "experimental stages" of a new album - the follow-up to Blackout, which was released in October 2007.

TINA TURNER: "BEYONCE WILL NEVER BE ME"

“She was one of the ones that were sitting in front of her little television, her little self looking at the big screen when I was Tina in the Ike and Tina Turner days and she took from all the stars at that time.

“Diana Ross influenced her, I influenced her. What I like about her is that she knows what she is doing, she really did her homework and decided to stay elegant.

“She’s not rock ‘n’ roll - she’s totally elegant. Unless you’re rock ‘n’ roll from the heart you can’t mimic that. The stance, the movements, it has to come from the inside.”

Pa. Town Pushes For Redneck Games

Planners in Weissport, Pennsylvania, population just over 400, envision a redneck celebration drawing 10,000 people.

Harrisburg (WHP) - Redneck could soon be way of life for the folks in one small Pennsylvania town

Planners in Weissport, Pennsylvania, population just over 400, envision a redneck celebration drawing 10,000 people.

They say it would include lawn mower and toilet races. Women would compete in daisy duke cutoff shorts, and men would compete to be crowned "Mr. Redneck."

Organizer Tommy McEvilly says the festival is looking for sponsors, contestants and participants for all the events.

Study Defines 'Finishing to Soon'

The study defines premature ejaculation
in hopes of aiding future treatments.

(UPI) - Experts from 10 countries, including Australia, the United States, Germany and Egypt, say they have defined life-long premature ejaculation.

Co-author Dr. Chris G McMahon of the University of Sydney says they developed the first-ever evidence-based definition of lifelong premature ejaculation in the hope it will aid future diagnosis, treatment and research.

The definition was developed after lengthy critical evaluation of the evidence presented in more than 100 studies on the sexual problem published over the last 65 years. It was unanimously agreed by the experts that the definition of lifelong premature ejaculation should be a combination of three key factors:

-- Ejaculation that always or nearly always occurs prior to or within about one minute of penetration.

-- The inability to delay ejaculation on all or nearly all penetrations.

-- Negative personal consequences such as distress, bother, frustration and/or the avoidance of sexual intimacy.

The study, conducted by the Standards Committee of the International Society for Sexual Medicine, is published online in the BJU International and The Journal of Sexual Medicine.

I really feel bad for you guy's that suffer from PE. It's really sad but at least you have a couple things going for you!

1. As stated previously on the show - another study finds that women like shorter sex.

2. I personally know a lot of chicks who have guys with this issue and a lot of chicks stay with them even though the sex is boo boo. I don't know...it may be a self esteem thing.

VIDEOS OF THE MOMENT...

YOU KIDS NEED TO LEARN ABOUT FUNK!

THE BUSINESS!!!

Eddie Murphy: "She Trapped Me"

The National Enquirer is claiming to know why Eddie Murphy refuses to make contact with his daughter with Melanie Brown. The tabloid is reporting that the actor only had sex with the Spice Girl three times during the course of their three-month relationship and Mel reportedly claimed to be on birth control during that time. According to the National Enquirer's source, "What was supposed to be a casual relationship ended with her having his baby and taking him to court for millions." This, of course, is the exact opposite of what Melanie has said.

And now, the source is also saying that Eddie is avoiding seeing his daughter, Angel, because he doesn't want to have to deal with Melanie B. "He says he will have to wait until Angel is older before he can get to know her without any interference from her mother."

Everything seems all kinds of shady, no matter how you you want to look at it. Meanwhile, since Mel got pregnant, there have been two marriages and one divorce that took place. These are some busy people.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Jacko lawyer: Neverland ranch saved

By THE ASSOCIATED PRESS


Guests of pop star Michael Jackson ride on one of the amusement park attractions at his Neverland Ranch,in this, Dec. 17, 2004, file photo in Santa Ynez, Calif. (AP/Mark J. Terrill)

Michael Jackson has refinanced Neverland ranch in time to save it from a public auction that was scheduled for later this month.

Jackson attorney L. Londell McMillan told The Associated Press on Thursday that the pop star has worked out a "confidential" agreement with Fortress Investment Group, LLC. The deal allows him to retain ownership of the famed property in Los Olivos.

"Neverland and MJ are fine," McMillan said.

An auction date had been set for March 19 because of $24.5 million the singer owed on the 1,011-hectare spread northwest of Santa Barbara.

A source close to the singer who requested anonymity because of the sensitivity of the matter said it's not clear whether Jackson will keep Neverland. Jackson has not lived there since his acquittal on child molestation charges in 2005.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Ramsay to teach Beckham to cook

Thursday, March 13 2008, 16:05 GMT

By Beth Hilton, Entertainment Reporter
Ramsay to teach Beckham to cook

Gordon Ramsay has offered to teach David Beckham how to cook.

The celebrity chef is a friend of the family and is confident that Beckham could be a whiz in the culinary arts.

He told the Daily Star: "David absolutely loves his food. You'd be surprised, but Victoria's a real foodie too. David has mentioned a few times he would love to be able to cook properly.

"I think he could be very good and I wouldn't hesitate to give him a helping hand in the kitchen."

A source said: "Apart from cooking, one of Gord's favourite things is helping others improve their cooking skills. He knows David loves his grub - and he loves entertaining when he's not on the football pitch or working out.

"Gordon will show Becks some storming dishes which he knows will really impress his pals. And the dishes will be quite easy so Victoria and even their boys can help join in making them."

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

This Years AI Front Runner Fouls Up

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Just In Time For Sping Break

The formerly incarcerated Girls Gone Wild svengali Joe Francis is once again a free man. After serving nearly a year in various jails, paying $1.5 million in bond to the state of Nevada and copping a plea to the charges against him in Florida, Francis, who the Florida state attorney has labeled "a convicted child abuser", was released from custody in Florida this week ... which doesn't bode well for the young co-eds who will be heading to various locales for Spring Break this year. Here are a couple pictures of Joe Francis addressing members of the media after his release this week lookin' like he really took advantage of those free meals he was fed in the slammer:
"Girls Gone Wild" video empire founder Joe Francis pleaded no contest to child abuse and prostitution charges Wednesday under an agreement allowing him to go free after nearly a year in jail. Francis, 34, returned to Florida after posting a $1.5 million bond this week in Nevada, where he is awaiting trial for tax fraud. The hearing in Bay County state court resolved his 2003 criminal case involving the filming of underaged girls during spring break on Panama City Beach. "I have never committed any crime. I pleaded guilty just to get out of jail," a defiant Francis said after the Bay County state court hearing. "A few corrupt individuals were able to keep an innocent man in jail for 11 months." Francis makes an estimated $29 million a year on videos of young women in sexually provocative situations. He pleaded no contest to one count of felony child abuse and two counts of misdemeanor prostitution. He also pleaded no contest to two additional child abuse counts on behalf of his company, Mantra Films. The charges were all that remained out of an original 73-count indictment brought after Bay County law officers raided Francis' hotel rooms and corporate jet in 2003. He also pleaded guilty in a 2007 case for having contraband — sleeping pills and cash — in the Bay County Jail. Judge Deede Costello sentenced Francis to 339 days on Wednesday, the time he has already served in Florida and Nevada. Costello also ordered Francis to pay more than $60,000 in fines, court costs and restitution to the county. Francis also agreed that his company would not conduct any filming between Escambia and Jackson Counties in Florida for the next three years ... Francis said plea agreement negotiations are under way in the Nevada case and he hopes to resolve them soon. "I'm going to go back to making videos, this afternoon," he said.

TODAY'S FAMOUS PEOPLE BLURB

Everybody's favorite fake ass Boriqua JENNIFER Lopez is about to pop out twins, and they've got North Shore University Hospital on Long Island in a tizzy. A staffer there says a private room — furnished especially for the mom-to-be with a luscious brown leather couch — has been sitting empty for two weeks now. The room is reserved for the diva. "No one's even allowed in there until she gets here. It's just sitting there for her," said the employee. The hospital, which reportedly beefed up security recently, had no comment.

DB: JLO looks like a damn drag queen in this pic...I can't hate on her...she's done a great job not putting out music to my delight!!!

The Rolling Stones have warned Amy Winehouse and other young stars to stay off drugs.

Ex-heroin addict Keith Richards, 64, said of the five-times Grammy-winning singer: "She should get her act together."

Sir Mick Jagger, 64, who was jailed in 1967 for possessing drugs, added: "When we were experimenting, little was known about the effects. In our time, there were no rehab centres. Anyway, I didn't know about them."

A spokesman said: "Mick and Keith were asked to give their views about Amy and did so."

db: I mean this is a far better way to get the point across than 70's has been Natalie Cole (I'm going to hell for talking about my family this way) being pissed off at Winehouse winning Grammys with a monkey on her back...Brian (Family Guy) said it best..."No junk no soul."

A New York lawyer thinks Britney Spears is perfectly capable of managing without the help of her dad, Jamie, as her conservator. Attorney Jon Eardley filed legal papers in Federal court Thursday claiming Brit's family is stripping her of her rights and requesting that Britney's conservatorship case be taken away from L.A. County Superior Court.
db: my commentary is this...STFU about this dumb ass broad...I hate her...I mean I really take time out of my day to think about how much I can't stand a damn Britney Spears or her little punk ass kids...Now Kevin F. that dude is a beast...I see a future for Brit's kids...

American Idol Contestants need not complain about not gettin' airtime

For the six or seven "American Idol" contestants who haven't received more than a minute of airtime during their runup to the big "top 24" show, executive producer Nigel Lythgoe has two words for you: Kelly Clarkson.

"She wasn't shown at all [during the audition process]," Lythgoe told reporters in a conference call Friday. "There certainly is an edge in having [a lot of airtime]. But at the end of the day, it's how you come out [tomorrow] and Wednesday and sing your song."

WHO THE BLUCK CARES...I MEAN I DON'T EVEN CARE...IT'S TAKEN ME LONGER TO SAY HOW MUCH I DON'T CARE THAN IT DID FOR ME TO CUT AND PASTE THIS STORY...AND WHO THE PHU IS KRISTY COOK?

CHICAGO — Kirstie Alley won’t be calling Jenny anytime soon.

The former "Cheers" actress is stepping down as Jenny Craig spokesmodel after three years with the company, People magazine reported on Friday.

Alley lost 75 pounds and kept that weight off for more than a year during her stint with Jenny Craig.

ANYHOO THAT'S ALL FOR NOW...I GOTTA DIP OUT