THURSDAY'S PIECE

FOR F&%K$ SAKE...IT'S FINALLY OVER!!

HERE'S THE "WINNER"

David Cook Crowned the New American Idol

The votes totaled 97.5 million to pick the next Idol.

One David got 54 percent of the votes and one got 44 percent of them.

I'm so glad that I missed this season...I plan on continuing that trend as much as possible at this point. AI = boooooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!!!

For those of you who DVR'd the show...I heard you got screwed! Did you notice that if you didn't adjust the regular recording time of the show that you saw: "And your new American Idol is David..." and then see a screen pop up with the "replay" or "erase" option? hahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!

Usher Split Rumors Not True

So there was a pesky little rumor going on that Ursher was leavin' his boo...unfortunately this is not a reality! Damn! I wish this cat would dip outta there and be the OG he once was...

"It's 100% not true," Usher's manager Benny Medina tells Usmagazine.com.

"Usher and Tameka are currently traveling in Europe together as a family on his promotional tour," he continued. "This rumor is completely false."

The couple got married in August of 2007, and controversy surrounding their nuptials and Tameka's pregnancy sparked rumors that Usher's mother didn't approve of the union.

Usher and Tameka have one child together, Usher Raymond V, who was born on November 26, 2007.

Foster, a stylist who has worked with Lauryn Hill, Toni Braxton and Usher himself, is nine years Usher's senior. She was previously married to Ryan Glover, with whom she has two children.

Shania Twain's Secretary: I Didn't Break Up Her Marriage

Shania and her ex are still entangled in a bit of a bitter war after their split. Fingers are pointing to her secretary...how cliche! Either way, the woman in question has spoken out...

"But, when marriages break up they break up for all sorts of complicated reasons, it's never just one reason," she says. "And those reasons should be kept private. If you're looking for a person that broke up a marriage then you have the wrong person. I'm not that person," she added.

J.R. ROTEM CLAIMS: 'BRITNEY'S BACK'

J.R. Rotem, the same cat who was entangled in a pregnancy situation last years claims that Brit's back on her way to the top! Yeah Yeah....so is Tiffany...

"She's great. She's like a master at what she does. She's a lot more experienced than most people. She just has the 'it' factor that not every artist has.

"It's always nice to work with her."

Rotem briefly dated Spears last year and hit the headlines when he suggested the pop star might be pregnant in a stray text message.

A source close to Spears confirms the singer is working on the "experimental stages" of a new album - the follow-up to Blackout, which was released in October 2007.

TINA TURNER: "BEYONCE WILL NEVER BE ME"

“She was one of the ones that were sitting in front of her little television, her little self looking at the big screen when I was Tina in the Ike and Tina Turner days and she took from all the stars at that time.

“Diana Ross influenced her, I influenced her. What I like about her is that she knows what she is doing, she really did her homework and decided to stay elegant.

“She’s not rock ‘n’ roll - she’s totally elegant. Unless you’re rock ‘n’ roll from the heart you can’t mimic that. The stance, the movements, it has to come from the inside.”

Pa. Town Pushes For Redneck Games

Planners in Weissport, Pennsylvania, population just over 400, envision a redneck celebration drawing 10,000 people.

Harrisburg (WHP) - Redneck could soon be way of life for the folks in one small Pennsylvania town

Planners in Weissport, Pennsylvania, population just over 400, envision a redneck celebration drawing 10,000 people.

They say it would include lawn mower and toilet races. Women would compete in daisy duke cutoff shorts, and men would compete to be crowned "Mr. Redneck."

Organizer Tommy McEvilly says the festival is looking for sponsors, contestants and participants for all the events.

Study Defines 'Finishing to Soon'

The study defines premature ejaculation
in hopes of aiding future treatments.

(UPI) - Experts from 10 countries, including Australia, the United States, Germany and Egypt, say they have defined life-long premature ejaculation.

Co-author Dr. Chris G McMahon of the University of Sydney says they developed the first-ever evidence-based definition of lifelong premature ejaculation in the hope it will aid future diagnosis, treatment and research.

The definition was developed after lengthy critical evaluation of the evidence presented in more than 100 studies on the sexual problem published over the last 65 years. It was unanimously agreed by the experts that the definition of lifelong premature ejaculation should be a combination of three key factors:

-- Ejaculation that always or nearly always occurs prior to or within about one minute of penetration.

-- The inability to delay ejaculation on all or nearly all penetrations.

-- Negative personal consequences such as distress, bother, frustration and/or the avoidance of sexual intimacy.

The study, conducted by the Standards Committee of the International Society for Sexual Medicine, is published online in the BJU International and The Journal of Sexual Medicine.

I really feel bad for you guy's that suffer from PE. It's really sad but at least you have a couple things going for you!

1. As stated previously on the show - another study finds that women like shorter sex.

2. I personally know a lot of chicks who have guys with this issue and a lot of chicks stay with them even though the sex is boo boo. I don't know...it may be a self esteem thing.

VIDEOS OF THE MOMENT...

YOU KIDS NEED TO LEARN ABOUT FUNK!