THURSDAY: BROUGHT TO YOU BY THE SAC OF LIFE

IS YOUTUBE AND MYSPACE THE ANTICHRIST?

Not that I'm one to voice my opinion but so many of these poor, uneducated, dial up having, no tv-watching, bt'in, no responsibility taken ass parents should slap themselves...most need to take it a step further and go down and visit their local neighborhood pimp and allow them the honor to smack em with the baby powder. STFU!!! myspace doesn't make people do things, individuals make their own decisions. If someone's weak enough to let one of these mediums affect them on a negative level then (if they are a minor) need to be divested of that medium in question. The idea that outside, intangible, forces control a person's is ridiculous! British philosopher Bertrand Russell once said “There is something feeble and a little contemptible about a man who cannot face the perils of life without the help of comfortable myths.” That's all I have to say about that!

NOTE TO SELF: WOMEN LIKE SHORTER SEX?

Premature ejaculators of the world, take heart. Scientific research is now on your side.

According to a new study in the Journal of Sexual Medicine, the best sex should last between seven and 13 minutes. The report, which surveyed a random sample of Americans and Canadians, also found that most people considered sex lasting three to seven minutes "adequate," and most thought sex for over 13 minutes was "too long."

Other recent studies show that while most people in the United States expect sex to last between 15 and 20 minutes, it is generally over in about half that time.

Interestingly, in response to the survey, Australian sex therapist Jane Howard noted that women are generally happy with a quick hit, while men tend not to be.

"There is a major gender difference in this area," Dr Howard is quoted as saying. "Usually women are quite happy with short intercourse, and are not bothered about prolonging it at all, but nearly all men want it to be much, much longer."


This is the kind of thing that could ruin a man...I mean we (a lot of us) work so hard to be able to have our minds right and now the pimply faced loser with the dirty khakis that would show signs of semen spots under the black light that is watching anime becomes victorious! This is so ass backwards...I'm gonna switch it up and start faking orgasms...why? so I can go home and have as much sex with myself as I want for as long as I want. Or better yet have someone do it for me perhaps.

MIMI AND CANNON LAMPOONED ON CNN!
(AS WELL THEY SHOULD)

I mean what do they expect? The last time was saw Mariah do something this outrageous was back when she delivered Popsicles to TRL on her way to the asylum!

CHRISTINA MILIAN IS A JEALOUS BROAD WHO CAN'T HOLD A RECORD DEAL AND NEEDS TO DROP AND ALBUM WITH THAT OTHER IRRELEVANT CHICK ASHANTI!

I really am concerned about how sad sumadeezmufukasget about being outshined...Xtina Milian decided to attempt to give Mariah a good look on what's possibly in store for her future with dick cannon...
“All the time we were together, I heard nothing. No rumors, no gossip, and then all of a sudden I’m in Romania and I start hearing stuff. I did something no woman should do, but sometimes you’re entitled to … and I think a lot of women do it. [He cheated] the whole time with different girls, not just one, but different girls. He said to me that these girls helped his ego and made him look good.”
...(yawn) smh...She needs to STFU and finish filming and recording the soundtrack to Be Cool 2

On second thought...ayo...Riske (Chris) reminded me how much hotter Xtina is than Mariah...Amen Hallelujah all praise be! I take back everything that I said previously about the beautiful creation!

"I'M VERY HAPPY TO BE HERE!!!!"

TODAY'S OFFERING...AND YEAH THERE'S SOME WINNERS!!!

Police: Mother Duct-Taped Children, Posted Pictures On Web

BELLINGHAM, Mass. -- A mother who duct-taped her children to chairs and then placed their photos on MySpace.com is facing charges of child abuse.

Amber Green, 23, and her live-in fiance, Lee Smith, 29, have been charged by police with two counts of assault and battery.

"The pictures clearly depict that Amber and Lee went to the extreme in wrapping duct tape around the kids,'' Bellingham Oficer David Ayotte wrote in a police report.
sponsor

Police said Green admitted to taping her 5 and 6-year-old children, they "asked to play with the tape and wanted to be tied up,'' the report said.

The tape was wrapped around the children's stomachs and chest and close to their throats, police said. The pictures show the children upset and crying.

"It is a possibility that the children may have had a difficult time breathing,'' according to the report.

Green posted the photos on MySpace for her friends to see.

They were spotted by a woman who said she saw "disturbing photos of Green's children secured and bound to chairs with duct tape'' and called police.

Both Green and Smith were freed without bail after their court appearance last month. They are due back on court Monday.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

LUDA GOIN IN FOR MOTHER ERF

Rapper/actor Ludacris has signed on to face off against rocker Tommy Lee in a new eco-centric reality show called "Battleground Earth," slated to air on the Discovery Networks' Planet Green channel this summer.

According to Daily Variety, ten episodes of "Battleground Earth" are expected to be shot within the next few weeks in preparation for a late July or early August premiere of the new show. Planet Green is expected to begin airing in 50 million homes by June 4th.

For the show, Luda and Tommy Lee will travel the country and compete in challenges that highlight "green" issues. For the series finale, the pair will join forces by co-headlining a concert at Los Angeles' Greek Theater, with the proceeds benefiting Griffith Park.

For Ludacris, "Battleground Earth" continues his dedication to the green cause - as SOHH previously reported, the Atlanta rapper and actor participated in last summer's Live Earth concert.

In addition to the upcoming reality series, Luda has recently been cast in Fox's Max Payne film alongside Mark Wahlberg, Mila Kunis and Beau Bridges. He will also hold a role in the Guy Ritchie picture RocknRolla, due out in October and the forthcoming film Ball Don't Lie which will debut at the Tribeca Film Festival.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

FUNERALS GOIN' LIVE!!!!

LONDON (Reuters) - Pay-per-view funerals go live online in Britain on Tuesday, allowing mourners who cannot attend services in person to pay their last respects via the Internet.


Despite criticism of the scheme as macabre, the company who launched the service, Wesley Music, is planning to offer it to crematoria across the country who will charge a one-off payment of around 75 pounds ($150) for access to a funeral webcast.

Mourners use the password to access a live online broadcast of the funeral service captured by a small camera mounted in the chapel."Families are dispersed across the world these days and sometimes it's the case that someone cannot get home in time for a funeral," said Alan Jeffrey, director of Wesley Music.

"For those who need it, this is a very important service. It means that rather than being excluded, they can at least witness and be a part of a funeral as it happens. In a time of stress this is something that can ease the pain."

David Powell, of funeral directors Henry Powell and Son in Southampton, southern England said he had already tested the service during three funerals. He insisted they remained private, intimate affairs despite being broadcast on the web.

"It's a personal thing. It doesn't go out for all and sundry to gawk at," he told Reuters. "There is a password for the family to send to people who want to watch online."

He said mourners as far away as Australia and Canada had already used the system. "The families have been absolutely delighted to be able to share in the proceedings when it wasn't possible for them to get over here and attend."

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

TSA FORCES A CHICK TO DIVEST HER NIPPLRY

LOS ANGELES (Reuters) - A woman who claims she was ordered by federal airport screeners to remove her nipple rings with pliers demanded an apology from the U.S. Transportation Security Administration on Thursday.
ADVERTISEMENT

Mandi Hamlin, 37, also called for an investigation into the February 24 incident in Lubbock, Texas, saying that snickering male agents violated TSA policy by forcing her to remove the jewelry.

"I felt surprised, embarrassed, humiliated, scared and angry," Hamlin told reporters at the offices of her Los Angeles attorney, Gloria Allred.

"This situation was totally out of control. I will not sit quietly. No one deserves to be treated this way."

The TSA, a unit of the Department of Homeland Security that was set up after the September 11 attacks on the United States in 2001, said it was investigating the incident but that agents were trained to search people with piercings in "sensitive areas" with dignity and respect.

"TSA is well aware of terrorists' interest in hiding dangerous items in sensitive areas of the body, therefore we have a duty to the American public to resolve any alarm we discover," the agency said in a written statement.

The TSA said incidents of female terrorists hiding explosives in "sensitive areas" were on the rise and provided a picture of a "bra bomb" that was used in training its agents.

Allred said the incident began when Hamlin, who has a number of piercings, set off a hand-held metal detector and told a TSA officer that her nipple rings were the problem.

A small group of TSA officers gathered around Hamlin, Allred said, and told her she would have to remove the jewelry from her nipples if she wanted to board her flight.

Hamlin went behind a curtain and removed one of her nipple piercings but could not budge the other, tearfully telling the officers it could not be taken out without pliers, Allred said.

"As Ms. Hamlin struggled to remove the piercing behind the curtain, she could hear a growing number of predominantly male TSA officers snickering in the background," the attorney said.

Allred said TSA policy called for a pat-down under such circumstances but did not require the piercings to be removed.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

IT IS WHAT IT IS!!!!

A SPARKLING NIGHT FOR WRESTLING!

John Voit said his sons live for the theatrics of WWE, but all that changed at Sunday's WrestleMania 24 after hundreds of fireworks shot into the cheering fans, pummeling them with rockets and raining sparks above their heads.

Orlando Fire Department officials said 30 to 35 wrestling fans were burned, some went to Orlando Regional Medical Center, after a cable that held fireworks on the west end of the Citrus Bowl snapped and sent the burning fireworks and rockets into the stands near the end of the event.

"My 12-year-old son got burned on his leg, he twisted his knee when he ducked under the bleachers and I have three welts on my back from the rockets that struck me," Voit said. "He's still shivering like a leaf."

Voit remembers covering his 9-year-old son, Stephen, and his friend, Felix, as a shower of burning gold and purple embers fell on them. "After the cables snapped, the batch of fireworks just hung there burning above our heads. How could they have allowed the WWE to put explosive devices above the heads of children?"

WWE is estimated to have spent $300,000 on the fireworks. Officials at the WWE have not commented on the fireworks malfunction. Orlando city officials are holding a press conference at 3 p.m. to discuss the accident and answer questions about any investigation into the fireworks malfunction.

The fireworks fell over the 300 section, the middle of the 200 section and the 100 section, Hoggatt said.

According to Hoggatt, people with non-critical and non-life-threatening injuries were asked to go to first aid for treatment. Three people requested that they be transported to the hospital. There is no information on their condition.

Wrestling fan Adam Simon was not injured, but witnessed as the cables snapped and dropped the fireworks into the crowd.

"We only had the cable fall on us, but the other side had the cable break at launch. One firework got stuck in the floodlights and spun around harmlessly and another one fell into the upper bowl," Simon said. "This type of [pyrotechnic] is used a lot by WWE, but I don't think they've ever used it over that distance."


HERE'S THE VID
http://www.opinr.com/story.php?title=The_WrestleMania_Fireworks_That_Went_Wrong-1

MAKE SURE YA USE UR BLUETOOTH!

A new study which claims to draw on growing evidence claims that mobile phone use may very well be more dangerous than smoking or asbestos and that people should avoid using mobile phones whenever possible. The study headed by Professor Khurana one of the worlds top neurosurgeon claims that that using a mobile phone for 10 years doubles the risk of brain cancer and has posted his studies online for the scientific community to study further . Khurana told reporters "there is a significant and increasing body of evidence for a link between mobile phone usage and certain brain tumours" and added that the link would be "definitively proven" within a decade.

PASS THE MAYO!

Police in Ohio say that a married father of three has confessed to repeatedly having sex with his patio picnic table.

Art Price, Jr., 40, has been charged with four counts of public indecency after a neighbor videotaped him getting all nasty with the umbrella hole in the middle of his plastic picnic table. Apparently preferring the table's legs in the air, Price reportedly flipped the table over before forcing himself inside of it.

Price admitted that his skeevy antics took place both inside and outside of his home, and police say he did his table humping in broad daylight, not far from a school.

In addition to public outrage, we imagine there's considerable jealousy among Price's other lawn furniture. While barbecues and lawn chairs don't have many places for good loving (unless you're big enough for that drink holder), we're sure that plastic gnome hiding in the hedges is wondering why he wasn't chosen. The garden hose, however, is probably pretty relieved.

TRANSGENDER MAN SAYS HE'S PREGNANT

Stunning photos of what appears to be a pregnant Thomas Beatie accompany the first-person article on the publication's Web site.

"Our situation sparks legal, political and social unknowns," wrote Beatie, who's from Bend, Ore.

Beatie, who was born a woman named Tracy Lagondino, had reassignment surgery to appear as a man outwardly, but he never surgically altered his reproductive organs, he said in the article. He only had chest reconstruction and began taking testosterone, Beatie said, meaning he still has ovaries and a uterus.

Now Beatie, who said he was able to get pregnant using artificial insemination, is expecting a baby girl with his wife, Nancy. He said he was 22 weeks along. The baby is due July 3.

But Beatie's case, while uncommon, is not unique. Another transgender man has given birth before, Cedars-Sinai Medical Center obstetrician Dr. Lisa Masterson said on "Good Morning America" today.

"A transgender man can be pregnant because he has the same organs as a woman," she said, adding that Beatie should have no problem having a baby.

But Masterson said there are some health risks with this kind of pregnancy.

"It's really important that he doesn't take any testosterone early on in the pregnancy and later on," she said. "That can cause male-type characteristics in the female baby."

Usually, transgender men use testosterone to gain more masculine qualities. The article said he stopped getting injections and was able to get pregnant.

Beatie also addressed some burning, practical questions people may have.

"To Nancy, I am her husband carrying our child," he wrote, explaning that his wife is unable to conceive. "I will be my daughter's father, and Nancy will be her mother. We will be a family."

But not everyone believes Beatie's story. Some of his neighbors expressed indredulity.

"Quite frankly, I think it's a hoax," Beatie's neighbor Ron Schlieper said. "I saw him a few days ago, and he didn't look like that."

Another Bend resident, Josh Love, said, "I couldn't say that he looks pregnant. I can stick my stomach out and almost make it look like that. I think it's kind of bizarre. I don't know if I believe it or not."

VID: http://abcnews.go.com/GMA/story?id=4526582

Woman Testifies Against Lori Drew in MySpace Hoax Case

Exclusive Interview With Teen Involved in MySpace Hoax That Led to Suicide

In an exclusive interview with "Good Morning America," Ashley Grills, 19, admitted she was part of a scheme to create a fake persona on MySpace and start an online romance with a 13-year-old neighbor, Megan Meier.

This handout shows self portrait shows Megan Meier, 13, who committed suicide last October after receiving cruel messages on MySpace,...

This handout shows self portrait shows Megan Meier, 13, who committed suicide last October after receiving cruel messages on MySpace, Monday, Nov. 19, 2007 in St. Charles, Mo. Meier hanged herself after receiving mean messages on the Internet social networking site. The 16-year old boy with whom she had been communicating turned out to be a fabrication created by a mother down the street.

(AP Photo)

Grills insisted, though, that she was not the only adult involved in the cruel hoax, which eventually led the emotionally vulnerable Meier to commit suicide in October 2006, after her spurious online boyfriend and others began making nasty comments about her.

Grills has testified to a grand jury that Lori Drew, the 47-year-old mother of one of Meier's friends, was actively involved in creating the account and wrote some of the messages to Meier — a charge that Drew and her attorney deny.

"We were just combining ideas about how we can figure out what Megan was saying about Lori's daughter," Grills told ABC News' Deborah Roberts. "It was all three of us — me and Lori and her daughter."